Some may call it intimidating, nerve racking, or even daunting, but to me there is a lot more involved in a blank sheet of crisp, white paper. I'm not perfect, nor do I think I ever will be. As an artist I have soiled so many pieces of white paper I could scarcely begin to count them. I experience the same hesitation that many must face when they put their freshly sharpened pencil to a flawless piece of paper. Erasers exist and that helps, but everyone knows that an eraser cannot restore a paper to it's initial beauty...no matter how good the eraser.
When I first started studying watercolor I faced a dilemma: Though you did have white pigment, there was no way to get it back to the white of the paper. If you want a true white, you had to plan on it from the beginning. Pressure. As layer after layer of pigment built up on the sheet, using the water as its vehicle, you could see the whites get dimmer and dimmer, tainted by the layers.
Today a white page to me means a fresh start, something that has no definitions or boundaries. Like waking up in the morning, that page has nothing but what I decide to put on it. I am reminded of the freedom that I enjoy and the ability that I have to make something that wasn't there before. It reminds me of what it means to be human. We are creative by nature, something that nobody can take away. When I see a blank page I remember that there is the possibility for failure as well as success. Through the years I have learned to be proud of my failures and rejoice in the process of becoming. On any page there are bound to be mistakes, but there is always the promise of another page to follow.
For all of you Christians out there, a new page is repentance, a new start granted me by my Savior Jesus Christ. I have the chance to move on from what I have done and start again. Those pages that I wish never to see again remain as a lesson learned from but they do not cumber the page that I have for today. I will be forever grateful for the chance that I have to start anew, fresh and untainted. This is something that is only made possible through my Savior. A Blank Page.
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