25 - Pointless Holidays

Every year there is someone that I know that complains about holidays. Valentine's day, saint Patricks day, Halloween, you name it, there is always a nay-sayer. Granted, these holidays are more or less pointless. To us, today, in our culture, we may or may not understand or put enough significance to these holidays. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we should educate everyone as to why we celebrate the specific holiday and have an extreme return to tradition. I am actually a fan of traditions evolving into something that they could not have been before. Proves we are human or something like that. Anyways, why do we need to hate on these holidays? Why is devoting a day to love that bad? I will admit that I used to hate New Years Resolutions.
"Why in the world do we have to have a specific day set aside to make resolutions? Shouldn't this happen daily, weekly, monthly?"
I was a nay-sayer. You will be happy to know that I have seen the light. For the same reason we celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, or any other holiday, we are simply taking advantage of the opportunity to make a day special. Is that such a horrible thing? I know they can be a pain. Buying candy for every kid in your kid's class so that they can give garbage candy back to your child is not ideal. I am grateful for pointless holidays. They give me a reason to be different than I was the day before.

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24 - Uncertainty

"So, one last think I forgot to ask you..."

The voice on the other end of the phone is one that I have grown to like. Nice guy. Nice guy who ultimately will decide what I do professionally for the next 2+ years.

"What is your long term plan? what are you going to do over the next 5, 10, 20 years?"

What am I going to be doing in 5 years? I have my ideas. I expect I will be somewhere in the middle of a masters program with a kid or two. I expect I will be deciding whether I want to stay with this company for the rest of my life or if I should move on. That all of course hinges on whether or not I will get into my program. It depends on whether or not I have done all that I need to in preparation for the portfolio review. It depends on if I really like the major as much as I think I do. It depends.

The uncertainty of not knowing is driving me insane...and I think I am grateful for it.

What is the alternative? I know everything. I see where I am 5, 10, 20 years from now...and then what? I wait, I watch, I am bored. There is a word in Japanese: Manzoku (Mahn-zoe-koo) and it means to be satisfied. My coworker on my mission in Japan always told me not to manzoku. Do not be satisfied with what we have. Always reach for more. I learned the word in a negative context. Manzoku is something that I should not do. I heard it the other day in a good way. I am satisfied. I have enough. My mind was blown. How could the same word be so different in two different situations? I am still puzzling over it. Right now I should be Manzoku. I should Manzoku with what I have, what I know, what God has allotted me. However, if I were to glimpse the future...the Manzoku would turn to something I do not want. I would know what would happen. I would be satisfied with being mediocre because I knew what I would achieve. I am grateful that I am uncertain about the future. It keeps me working for something more. I am satisfied with where I am at. I am satisfied with how much I know and how this journey is progressing. I am so much more grateful that I have uncertainty to keep me working and not letting me be satisfied with mediocrity.

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23 - Spring

My muscles tense as I step through the doorway. The air is cold...but not brisk. In front of me a robin hops along the grass. Noticing me, it cocks it's head, hops a couple more times before flying off over the fence. The air feels different this morning. The temperature is a little warmer; there are birds singing in the trees, and the ground is wet from rain and not snow. These things aside there is something unidentifiable about this morning that can't be described. Spring is coming. It may snow a few more times before flowers start showing up and all signs of winter have gone, but like a roller coaster, the suspenseful climb to the top of the slope is ending and I hover between the climb and the fall. For a couple more weeks we will hover in this taboo of sorts, unsure whether to welcome the spring or say farewell to the winter. I am grateful for Spring.

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22 - Graduation

To move on, to accomplish something and leave it behind. Graduation has become far too synonymous with the end of School. The idea of graduation comes in many different forms. Graduation is leaving a job that you love for a job that will push you to become better. It is the leaving of something that you have outgrown, something that you have mastered. "Graduation" is a happy word, while "moving on"...not so much. The world should recognize and cheer on the day when we move from one phase of life to the next. Just like we once graduated from diapers, training wheels, or pool floaties, moving on is something that we should cherish. Graduation from the single life to being married, just like graduating from High School, should not happen until one is ready. Adding a child to that relationship in the same way is a wonderful transition...but should happen at the right time. The eventual graduation from this life should not mark the leaving, but the mastering. When I leave College, a Job, or this world, I want to graduate from it.

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21 - Paradigm

Amazing, marvelous, actually, that two people who have experienced the exact same event can see it so differently. A rainstorm in the eyes of one may be a gift from God, while through the eyes of another may be a nuisance. "Paradigm shift"the adjusting of one's opinion caused by the recognition of a different point of view. Seeing the world my way, the way I see everything. Occasionally we think that if everyone could see things the same way we did then we might have world peace. Things could be simpler if we all thought the same way. Would there be hatred, discrimination, harsh words, or confusion? Perhaps not. Eliminating the way I see the world so that I can see how you see the world would simplify...but perhaps not improve. What would happen to creativity, love, beauty, skill, and interest if everyone saw the world the same. Would I ever marvel at the creation of another? Would I enjoy a new song or wonder if everyone enjoyed the sunrise like I did? Paradigms make up our personality. Occasionally we blame them for the faults of this life. I would never want to standardize paradigms. It would feel like genocide of the worst kind. I am grateful for paradigms.

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20 - E-mail

Kristen is 21. Kristen lives in California right now volunteering to teach those who are struggling in life about God. I did the same thing in Japan for two years. Serving a missionary is an interesting experience. One of the best a young individual can have. Talking to your family on the phone or Skype happens twice a year. Once on Christmas and once on Mother's day. Other than that, we can write letters or email weekly. Every once in a while, for a few minutes, my sister and I end emailing at the same time and we get to send a couple quick emails in real time. Technology is most definitely a miracle and I know that sending an email is something simple and seemingly unimportant, but when it is the only communication you have from your sister that you haven't seen in months...that little piece of technology can mean the world.

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19 - Kabobs

Winter brings far more than snow, and cold. I know what you are thinking, and it doesn't bring kabobs either. With winter comes an appreciation for all things summer. I love food. Summer brings barbecues and winter brings soups. I may or may not anticipate seasons by their food. The above picture was one of our better adventures.  Shrimp is admittedly better than chicken, but nonetheless right now, I am beginning to realize how grateful I am for kabobs. Just a couple more months and the grills will be back on!

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